Are you really yourself? Or you've fooled yourself?

I have fooled myself for a long time about who I am

What you can learn by coming to your personal wall? Everyone has a point in life when the stone falling from the sky changes your way of thinking. I think that my stone has hit me already because I’ve fooled myself.

SOMETHING WAS WRONG FOR A LONG TIME

I think that something was wrong for a long time about what I thought of myself and what I did. I see that I had a great dissonance between my real needs and things I blindly believed into. Unfortunately, I fooled myself. One of such things what’s a blind faith in hard work and stubbornness, which was supposed to take me far in life and buy me a Bentley. I stopped to listen to my instinct because of it.

I believe that people are born with their inner voice and instinct which tells them where to go in life. I believe that denying it or pretending that it doesn’t exist – brings more harm than good.

BECAUSE I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SO MANY THINGS I CARED ABOUT BEFORE

I’ve never cared about what people are going to think about me. I always screwed that topic. I never doubted my skills to count money. And then: boom! Few years later I start to wonder what am I doing and do I really know how to make money. Doubt appeared in my life because of wrong environment and of pretending to be someone I’ve never been. My teen years affected what I think right now. I fooled myself. I’ve always wanted to have tons of money, a private jet and a big house. Unfortunately, I associated those things with business and small company.

I’ve build a false image in my mind of a guy who has cash because of a hard-earned business, tough working or an ever-busy CEO. What I’ve learned over those years is that I never wanted to be a CEO. I hate to be constantly connected to the system. Picking up my phone at 10pm doesn’t satisfy me. I’ve never enjoyed calling people to sell them something.

I SOMEHOW HAD TO ADAPT THE FALSE IMAGE TO THE REALITY

So, I imagined that by having a business I will have a stable income of cash and constantly interesting life. What worked out is that I’ve opened a company over six times and created 7 brands. Fifty ideas to do it again I have in my notebook. But does it make any sense? What I love is a constant flow of cash – every transfer that comes to my account makes me feel happy. Not constant fight with the reality. I’ve never liked calling other people to sell them something. I don’t like outreaching people to sell them things which they have seen before – it makes me tired. However, I had to adapt this uneven reality to my false image in my mind.

So, I assumed that life is a fight, and business is a battle. What worked out of it?

CONSTANT WAR INSTEAD OF LIFE. I’VE FOOLED MYSELF

In effect of assuming that life is a constant war and business is a battle, I worked out a scheme that everyone is an enemy and I have to fight with them. This kind of attitude is extremely effective and everyone will surrender to your solutions. So, I assumed that it’s a correct kind of attitude. But:

How long you can fight?

I fooled myself. Soldiers in the middle ages had to rest for at least few days before next battle. So how could I stand whole life like this?

I couldn’t. At one point it got so exhausting that I had to either get rid of this attitude and change something or burnout. So, I chose change. Because I’m way too young to burnout. And I have next lesson about life, that fighting with everything around will only ruin you. It cannot be a way of a healthy life.


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