I have a feeling that my mind is trying to talk too much. That it’s ability to think about the world is getting to extreme levels. Dear mind, I love you but shut up.
You know what you have to do. But it won’t shut up.
I like my own mind. It’s fast, good and efficient. It has great imagination and pick up lines. But sometimes it drives me insane because it doesn’t want to shut up. I know that people have tendency to overthink simple matters and wonder too much. I thought that I’m resistant to it. Unfortunately, not.
In the morning my ass was on fire. Fire extinguisher didn’t help. I had to write 10 pages of my diploma work, because today was the deadline. I did it, I managed to win – my mind was quiet back then. But as soon as I finished, it started to talk again. To analyze everything, look for new opportunities, analyze people around. Man, shut up. Quiet. I just want to relax.
Many times, I’ve said: don’t think too much.
Among people with whom I’m spending time, I always repeat them to stop thinking too much. To enjoy the moment, you have right now. To be really free for 15 minutes. I thought that this overthinking bullshit will stay away from me for ages. I was wrong, fuck. Sometimes even I’m caught by those thoughts “what would happen If…”. I don’t like them. I don’t like to lie on the couch, for a whole day thinking what’s good and what’s wrong about me. I just want to live my life, do what I have to do and be happy.
You can’t make money from wondering.
Thinking in general is very profitable. You can be a professor on Harvard, next Tesla or engineer and design new iPhones. Generally – it’s very profitable. But by wondering on a couch you can’t make a penny. Difference between thinking about the sense of your life and working (I mean crating new value for people around) is that you catch the idea immediately, write it down and sell it. By wondering on the couch you can only get pain in your back because of using it too long.
Dear mind, if you want to talk to someone, maybe let’s meet.
Maybe go for a walk. Catch up with your neighbor and ask him how’s life. Meet your friends, use them to have a conversation. Meet someone new. Maybe on a street, maybe in a coffee shop. Just shut up when I don’t want to talk to anyone. I love one thing about my mind: it’s invincible. No conflict, moron or trouble can win with it. But it has one, very big downside: when I sit on my butt and don’t have nothing to do, it starts to kill me from inside. It starts to think too much.
At least I have my lovely blog.
When I created it and configured the website, I thought of it as of tool only to make money. Now I see that it effectively shuts my mind and keeps it quiet. When I have to write an article, I have to think a while. I have to use some words to express what I want to express. It sucks out every doubt I had in mind and all those wondering is gone.