There is one method which can make you life not stressful at all, and make you more effective in contact with people around. Such thing is a psychological distance, which takes you a level higher.
You cannot be reached, if you are not around. Disconnect yourself.
We are constantly looking for methods to look at things from more neutral and natural perspective. There are tons of books which can tell you how to be an objective person, and make fair verdicts. However, there is one, quite faster way to achieve same effect, because it requires only psychological strength from you. If you are able to disconnect emotionally from your current situation – then you can truly act as a objective, human being. The method to achieve emotional independence is simple, because:You have to realize, that you cannot be hit, if you are not in someone’s reach. The point is that while dealing with toxic people, you detach from their point of view and keep distance. Stand next to your current perspective and calmly ask yourself if it is really your view on the world.
Responsibility has it’s limits.
Human beings tend to feel responsible for more things that they are in fact. There are situations and times, when you have to feel a little bit away from current problem, and look for solution from another perspective. You have to keep in mind that in life you are holding responsibility for the final effect, and wondering about it in the middle of the process is a poor idea. Just imagine that you are standing next to your problem, or problematic person, and think with cool mind what to do next. Being rational will get you far in life, while pure emotions and aggressiveness will burn your motivation fast.
Enough of theory – example: you had booked a bus in city which is 300 kilometers far from your home, and it was supposed to pick you up at noon. It delays over 90 minutes, so you had time to get upset, and think what to tell to the driver. First of all, if you do so, then you are losing any possible options to make your situation better. You simply let your emotions go, and that is the point, when you are losing control, because your interlocutor will react the same way.
There is group of people, who are not in charge of the company.
We tend to forget that often people who are on the first line of the customer service – lack any decisive force in the company. However, they are those people who are getting all customer fury on them, usually not for their failure. What does it mean for you? That letting emotions go in such situation makes it a habit, and in future you are going to use it more often. It leads to situation that you get upset, and roar on people who cannot change anything. In effect you get upset even more. It drains your energy and in fact changes nothing, unlike keeping psychological distance.
Second person problems are not yours, so keep distance.
People who work for customer service can teach us a good lesson of invulnerability for other people problems. Psychological supremacy is a kind of ability to separate someone’s problems from yours. It is important to remember, than other people want to share their problems with you. But not in a way in which you can help, but in way you experience them also. Your role is to keep your mind professional, and focus on solving them, rather than experiencing.